Practicing Unproductivity

While working here at the ministry, we do many different things throughout the week. 

Some mornings, we’ll join a group of ladies in their Bible study and work with them in the kitchen. Other days, we’ll go to the local park or elderly home and spend time with the locals playing hacky-sack or coloring pictures. We also join the church in handing out bread to the homeless once a week.

Though none of the work we do is physically difficult, there are days where my pride makes the work very uncomfortable for me. A big thing is the language barrier. Everything has to be translated for me. I wish so badly to be able to understand everything that is being said! Or, even just 60% of what would be said. But only understanding 10% (which only occurs when I have a decent amount of context for what’s happening) is challenging. I feel so useless and in the way when I don’t know where and how to jump in and help out within the foundation.

At my old job, I had become so used to knowing all the answers. I was always able to see where help was needed and felt like I was pretty good at delegating someone to fill the spot if I couldn’t just step in to fix the problem myself. I strongly dislike not being able to do that here.

However, I’ve realized that I put WAY too much value in my productivity. This isn’t a new realization for me, nor is it a new struggle I’m finding myself faced with. But these new circumstances are allowing The Lord to teach me new lessons on the topic. 

For the first couple of weeks, I was frustrated with God and the ministry and myself because I couldn’t see how this extra practice being un-useful was going to help me stop defining my value by my productivity. God, however, is a master at working in our lives and grooming our flaws.

In my frustration, I had nowhere else but to turn to Him for value and comfort. Without my nifty pride to serve as handy contentment, I had to learn to live in the present and appreciate the small blessings and beauties that each moment holds.

Even when unsuccessfully attempting to scrub old rust off of the bottom of a 15-year-old saucepan, I can look around and see the smiles, faith, and determination of the women working around me and be grateful.

Even when sitting completely clueless in the middle of a Spanish Bible Study, I can hear the passion, love, and heart that these individuals have for The Lord and His Word and praise God.

Even when making a fool of myself in my uncoordinated efforts to play hacky sack, I can still smile, cheer, and attempt at conversation with those around me. In fact, through these very actions, a man who played hacky sack with us stopped by the foundation and received a full 45-minute verbal explanation of how much Jesus loves Him.

The Lord works in the Little Things. He doesn’t rely on our best efforts or our perfect performance. On this trip, I’ve learned that Jesus enjoys working in the spontaneous, accidental, or “Oh well, I guess we’ll do this instead” moments. 

In fact, out of the 13 girls on my team, only 2 of us intentionally chose to come to Colombia this June. For everyone else, this trip was a second, third, or even fourth resort. And yet, after hearing each other’s testimonies, we are all convinced that God divinely brought us together for this summer mission trip.

Learning to live in the present and appreciate the Little Things that God is doing around me is hard. However, it forces me to trust God’s plan over my works and leads to permanent contentment that can’t be found in anything else.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.”

Proverbs 3:5-8 NLT